A Florida Character in the Ozark Hills!

The sights and surprises in the Great Outdoors never cease to amaze me.  Just when you think you have seen it all out in the woods, something comes along that reminds you that you haven’t even popped the cork of the moonshine jug of outdoors sights.  And some of the sights will make you wonder if someone hasn’t spiked your water pail with some of the ‘shine!  Case in point was this weekend in the turkey woods.

The weekend started normal enough on the water – we went out to a private lake to check some traps set for some nuisance beavers.  At the spillway where I had set a 330 conibear under a dive pole we had caught a big one.  By the feel of him I’d guess him to way 50 pounds.  He was definitely the construction leader at the spillway site.  For the past several weeks he and his compadres had been building a dam at the spillway only to have it deconstructed by us when we found it.  This, however, was not a discouragement for the beavers.  They went on about there construction like ‘busy beavers’ as the saying goes.  With all the rain for the past few weeks the trapping efforts were foiled again and again by high water leaving the traps many inches to a few feet below the surface of the water.  Finally, this weekend it got back down to a normal range long enough to snag our saw-toothed dam builder.

The weekend started off normal enough on the water. The One-Eyed Hillbilly with the saw-toothed dam builder.

While we were at the lake checking the traps I figured we might as well fish for a spell while circling the lake in the boat.  Much to our surprise when we got to the boat we discovered that all the rain had partially filled the hollow plastic hull with water and it was listing pretty heavily to port!  I talked my wife into helping me heave the partially foundered vessel up on the dock and hold it there as the water drained from a hole in the hull.  It was quite a struggle but we finally managed to drain it out enough to make the trip around the lake.  Coleman and I threw cranks, spinners, and jigs, and we managed to catch a few short fish but nothing of any size.  As I watched Coleman, my 7 year old son, I remembered a fishing trip with my dad and our friend Jackie Lough at the Sinks in Shannon County over 35 years ago.  I was about 7 at the time and I distinctly remember out-fishing both dad and Jackie, just as Coleman swore he was out-fishing me.  35 years ago…where’d the time go?

Building a foundation for a child's memories in the Great Outdoors. Coleman and mom, LaDonna Stephens on the boat.

After 35 years you start to think you’ve seen it all in the woods…but you haven’t.  Sunday morning, my son Alex and I were sitting in the corner of Uncle Boone’s farm with our turkey decoys out in front of us when Alex said, “Dad, there’s a guy over here in the field.” 

I looked to my left and could just make out a strange form crouched behind a bush about 30 yards from us.  We were just inside the woods line sitting under a large oak with scrub brush all around so he couldn’t see us but he could see our decoys.  About that time I heard him call…I think.  I wasn’t quite sure whether I heard a turkey call or the Aflac duck.  It was then that I figured out that he was stalking our decoys so I decided to whistle at him before he decided to take a dig at the rubber turkeys.  After he discovered the source of the whistling he stood up and came walking toward us.  That is when I discovered that I definitely had not even begun to see all that there is to see in the turkey woods.  

The boys acting goofy! Dad and Coleman posing with a "Monster" that Coleman caught while 'out-fishing' dad.

He was a friendly fella…just a little odd looking for the turkey woods.  He had bright blond hair that was so kinky it appeared to be an afro and he wore no hat to cover the hair.  He had a blonde Colonel Sanders beard and mustache.  He had a silver stud piercing protruding from his lower lip.  He wore a camouflage shirt with plaid,…yes, plaid shorts, and a pair of polished black cowboy boots.  He was packing a single-shot 28 gauge H&R shotgun.  He was a sight for sore turkey hunting eyes.  If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’ and my son Alex can verify it all. 

During the conversation he told me he was from Florida.  Now, I’ve never hunted Osceola turkeys in Florida but this puts a new twist on what my perceptions were about hunting Osceolas!  He was a unique turkey hunting artist marching to the beat of his own drum.  Anyway, different strokes for different folks I guess.  I really don’t care how you dress.  I figure as long as you are in the woods chasing game you are on the right track.    

His style will definitely go down in my memory as unique in all the turkey hunting world.  He jogged my mind back 35 years as I searched my memory wondering if I had ever seen anything like him, just as watching Coleman had jogged my fishing memories back.  It’s hard to believe 35 years have flown by in the outdoors.  35 years, where’d they go?  One of my all time favorite musical artists, Bob Seager, wrote some lyrics that say,

“Twenty years now, where’d they go?

Twenty years, I don’t know. 

I sit and I wonder sometimes where they’ve gone.  

...And sometimes late at night,

oh when I’m bathed in the firelight,

the moon comes calling a ghostly white,

and I recall, I recall…”  

There is nothing more peacefully satisfying than being bathed in the campfire light as the moon shines bright over the wooded Ozark ridges and recalling the memories of a life in the hills.  So says the One-Eyed Hillbilly.

Greg Stephens is a 35-year veteran & life-time student of the great outdoors. His column appears weekly in print & online publications. You can email him at gregstephens@one-eyedhillbilly.com. For more columns go to www.one-eyedhillbilly.blogspot.com.