Mother’s Day at the Lake



The whining kid gets his way - it's a good thing it isn't Father's Day! Coleman in the lake ruining the fishing trip!


Ok, how many of you guys have asked your wife what they wanted to do for Mother’s Day and heard, “Well, all I really want for Mother’s Day is to go to the lake and go fishing.” Ya, I didn’t hear that either. But, we did get to go to the lake. The plan was for the guys to fish and the girls to head to Branson, but Coleman, being one of the guys, had different ideas. Coleman’s idea of being in the boat is jumping in the lake and swimming in between eating cookies & chips and chain-chugging every soda in the cooler. And, when Coleman doesn’t get to do as Coleman has planned, he can grate on you like fingernails on a chalk board. It’s hard to fish with fingernails running down a chalk board.

As soon as the girls left the house Coleman wanted to know if we were going swimming. Sensing the fit that he would throw if I told him anything except what he wanted to hear I said, “…Uh, maybe,…just get in the boat.”

That wasn’t the answer Coleman was looking for. He wanted a black and white answer and he wanted to make sure we weren’t going to starve to death while out on the lake, “Dad, did you get the snacks? Did you get the soda? Can I go swimming while you fish?”

I said, “Sure Coleman, just get in the boat.” So, Alex, Coleman, and my brother-in-law, Scott Bollinger, and me piled in the boat and headed up Table Rock Lake from Cape Fair. There was very little wind, good cloud cover, and temps in the upper 60’s – it was perfect.

We pulled up on the first crappie beds and Coleman immediately wanted to know if he could jump in the water. “Not right now Coleman, eat some cookies.” I told him, as Scott, Alex, and I started casting our rods. When the crappie fishing proved slower than expected, I decided to switch to largemouth bass fishing with a top-water buzz bait. When you are lucky enough to time it just right, top water lures provide more fun and excitement than any other type of lures and I figured, taking into consideration the temperature, cloud cover, and wind conditions, that the planets were lined up just right for great top-water action. As soon as we started throwing the buzz baits the fish came alive. And, of course, just as the excitement grew, Coleman ran out of cookies…he had eaten the whole bag and was ready to swim.

A nice bass Alex landed with his top-water Devil's Horse. The fishing was getting good but Coleman wasn't impressed.

“Dad, can I swim now?” he asked as I cranked a buzz bait across a bush growing 5 feet out from the shore. I replied, “Coleman everybody knows you can’t swim after you’ve been eating – you’ll get cramps. Sit down and let your food settle and play a game or something.” I had reverted back to the old reliable excuse every parent has given their kid in order to keep them out of the water and I was hopeful this would buy me a little more time to fish. Coleman grumbled something and flopped down in the seat.

Just moments later Alex cranked his top-water Devil’s Horse across an old submerged fence line extending out into the lake from the bank and the water boiled around his lure as a very nice largemouth took a swipe at the plug. He gave a mighty jerk and the lure flew out of the water and across the boat – he missed the fish! It looked to be a nice one in the 4 to 5 pound range. Scott and I were excited now. The old fence line ran for 100 yards and there were old snags extending up out of the water the entire stretch. I was sure we would catch a monster but casting proved difficult as Coleman stood at my back the entire time wanting to know if he could get in the water. I couldn’t reach back and really throw my lure the way I wanted for fear of hooking him as I cast. I was fairly certain I wouldn’t be popular if I brought our youngest son back to my wife with a buzz bait hung in his head!

Finally, at the end of the old fence row we were about 100 yards out in the lake and Coleman’s Uncle Scott had heard the whining and crying as long as he could take it. He said, “Coleman, jump in the water.” And that was all it took – Coleman was in the lake and the fishing had come to a halt. It reminded me of the old saying about a squeaky wheel gets the grease but instead an incessant whining kid gets to swim to the detriment of our fishing trip. I tried to mention lake sharks, I tried to mention catfish big enough to eat an 8 year old boy in order to get him back in the boat, but Colman wasn’t having any of it. Oh well, at least I was on a boat in the middle of the lake instead of fighting the traffic on 76 Highway in downtown Branson. And, it was Mother’s Day after all so it wasn’t supposed to be about Dad. On Father’s Day Coleman doesn’t get to swim in the lake…I get my way! So says the One-Eyed Hillbilly.

Greg Stephens is a 35-year veteran & life-time student of the great outdoors. His column appears weekly in print & online publications. You can email him at gregstephens@one-eyedhillbilly.com. For more columns go to www.one-eyedhillbilly.blogspot.com.