On Christmas day there are lots of things we could be doing in the Great Outdoors - muzzleloader season, trapping season, archery season, rabbit season, and squirrel season and that’s not even mentioning great trophy trout fishing opportunities down on the Current River. But did I dare go hunting or fishing on Christmas day? Well,…no. But I did manage to get outside. I told my wife I didn’t want to go but in Missouri we have to check our traps every 24 hours so I had to go to the woods – it’s the law. And, to add another degree of difficulty to the task, in Dent County with the white Christmas we were hit with temperatures in the twenties with 2 inches of blowing snow. I figured everything would be hunkered down but I still had to go. Due to the poor heater performance from my old ’89 Ford pickup I determined maybe we should’ve been hunkered down as well! You could see your breath inside the cab for the first 30 minutes and I’m not sure my uncle, Joe O’Day was ever able to see through the ice on his side of the windshield. But hey, we were in the woods on Christmas.
We were also outside for a different reason on Christmas day. Last month we had made plans to cook a deer ham over the fire pit in the back yard for Christmas dinner. I thought that was a great idea and a chance to start a Christmas tradition in the outdoors for some of the heartier individuals at the Christmas gathering. I planned to put on a pot of coffee along side the ham and we could stand around the fire drinking hot coffee while the others inside prepared the rest of the meal and the kids played with their new toys. I felt it only fitting to honor the bounty of Mother Nature by cooking in the outdoors at such a time of celebration.
We multitasked while starting the fire. On Christmas day it’s always a huge mess with wrapping paper everywhere after the presents are all unwrapped. This year after all the Christmas gifts had been unwrapped we gathered all the papers (a few receipts and instruction manuals that weren’t supposed to be burned too) and put them in empty boxes and stuck them under the fire grate with wood piled on top. All the paper was excellent tinder and started the cooking fire right up. By 8:30 am two chores were already completed – the holiday mess was cleaned up and the cooking fire was blazing.
The deer ham was laid out to thaw the day before. I covered the entire piece of meat with garlic powder and then wrapped it from end to end in bacon. The entire thing was then encased in 8 layers of aluminum foil and set on the grate above the fire. It was turned once every 30 minutes for 3½ hours. We kept the fire blazing and the coffee percolating. An open fire, hot campfire coffee, and good outdoor conversation on Christmas day – now that is a Christmas tradition to remember and repeat!
In spite of the harsh weather, after dinner my Uncle Joe O’Day and I ran my trap line. We cut only a single set of tracks the entire trip…a skunk’s tracks…and he was in one of my traps. Funny how relatives just don’t seem to want to sit by you or carry on a conversation after you’ve wrestled with a skunk. As I suspected, most other critters were hunkered down. For me personally, the only luck worse than a dry run is to have a skunk – it’s kind of like getting coal in your stocking on Christmas! And, the only thing dumber, from your wife’s point of view, than going to the woods on a cold and snowy Christmas day is to bring home a skunk after going to the woods on a cold and snowy Christmas day. The skunk was in the bed of the pickup and my wife LaDonna said she could smell it in the house. I just don’t believe it. In any event, according to my good friend Dave Brown, on Christmas Day 2010, I was a ‘kunk’ trapper for sure. So says the One-Eyed Hillbilly.
Greg Stephens is a 35-year veteran & life-time student of the great outdoors. His column appears weekly in print & online publications. You can email him at gregstephens@one-eyedhillbilly.com. For more columns go to www.one-eyedhillbilly.blogspot.com.
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