News from the North Country

I’m a cold weather hillbilly. I like a temperature range anywhere from -20°F to 65°F. Anything over that becomes too warm. Anything above 80°F and I get downright miserable and cranky. There’s nothing more exhilarating than being able to see your breath as you build a raging fire to boil traps under the moonlight of a crisp, cold Ozark winter night. Shaking off the cold chill as you rub your gloves together waiting for the fire to heat up is invigorating food for the outdoor soul. This year that cold weather has been a tall order in the unusually warm spell we’ve had. It’s hard to get in the outdoor mood when it feels more like early fall or spring. I guess it’s a good thing I get daily reports from friends in the great North Country. I’m not jealous.



It's definitely not 70 degrees in the Wrangell-St. Elias!  Gene's son and grandson with a marten on Christmas Day 2011.  What a great adventure on Christmas Day!



As I write this the forecast for the Ozarks is temperatures possibly approaching 70°F through New Year’s Eve (too hot!) with a cold snap that will give us lows in the 30’s for only a few nights before warming back up at the end of next week. If you caught a good bundle of fur you couldn’t even let it set out in the January weather without it spoiling – that’s too warm! Of course, I can live vicariously through the daily reports of my friend Gene Newman, who spent Christmas in a log cabin in the Wrangell – St. Elias Wilderness in Alaska trapping with his son and grandson. Low’s were in the negative teens. They’ve been catching marten. I don’t envy Gene.

As I write this the temperature on Kodiak Island is 13°F with highs expected in the mid 20’s for the next week. My long-time hunting and trapping partner, Steve Neff is caretaking at a lodge on Raspberry Island, Alaska. I get daily emails with pictures of red, silver, and red-silver cross fox that he’s caught. I get stories and pictures of huge otter. I hear about the white ermine running around all the outbuildings at the lodge. Earlier in the fall he sent pictures of a musk ox that could quite possibly turn out to be a new world record handgun harvest after the mandatory drying period. Then, a week later he sent pictures of the Kodiak brown bear that he took on the mainland. You don’t reckon they would send those pictures and stories just to torment a fella do you? No, I don’t think so.

I mean, tormenting a cold weather hillbilly with adventures from the great North Country could almost be characterized as sadistic when all the hillbilly wants is some good, cold hunting and trapping weather. That’s not too much to ask, right?



Steve Neff on Raspberry Island, AK with a cross fox. I think he's still laughing about those 330's on my hands!
And I'm beginning to think he sends these pictures to torment me.



You know, the more I think about it, I think Steve might be doing this on purpose. I recollect that he likes to see me in pain. When last we beaver trapped together on Pigeon Creek in southern Dent County I got caught on not once or twice, but three different occasions in a 330 conibear trap. Now, when you get your hand in a 330 with good springs there’s no gettin’ out of it in a hurry without help. Each time he took his sweet time getting to me with the trap spring setters to release me. Best I remember he had a BIG grin on his face as he meandered over to me while I cringed in pain. Why, now that I’m remembering back, the last time I got hung he was across the creek and he stood there laughing and shaking his head while I bit my bottom lip in painful disgust. I think he enjoyed it! Now, he’s 4000 miles away and he’s still trying to do it! But it’s not going to work because I’m not jealous.... I don’t envy those guys. …whew, it sure is hot. So says the One-Eyed Hillbilly.

Greg Stephens is a 35-year veteran & life-time student of the great outdoors. His column appears weekly in print & online publications. You can email him at gregstephens@one-eyedhillbilly.com. For more columns go to www.one-eyedhillbilly.blogspot.com.



Trapping is like Christmas

Last Friday night we made it home to the northern Ozarks for Christmas in time to pay a visit to our good friends Kenny and Mary Lou Wells. My son Alex and I showed up around 6:00 pm and sat at the kitchen table for 2 hours catching up. As is our typical habit, Kenny and I discussed and solved the problems of the world as they pertain to government. Over the years I have come to trust, appreciate and believe in the common sense solutions of Ozark hills mountain folk to most any problem and Kenny and I share common ground in that regard. Generally, there’s not pretty Christmas gift wrapping on mountain folk solutions – they tend to be quite raw and mimic nature. The hill folk solution to the problem will always be well thought out and fair to any fella that wants to help himself… and pretty dismal for the fella that waits for a handout.

 

Of course we eventually got around to our favorite subject – trapping. We caught up on the latest news from the Missouri Trappers Association as well as the results from the National Trappers Association rendezvous and convention that took place in Columbia, MO this past summer. I listened while Kenny told me about how water trapping had been this year down on the Current. Our conversation ended up on land trapping and the most recent sets Kenny had put out earlier that day. Before we left for the night I had arrangements to meet him the next morning and to run the six new sets that he had made. Alex and I then said our good nights and headed to town.

On the way to town Alex and I remarked on how badly we wanted to boil and wax our traps in order to get some steel in the ground this year, however, it was going to be difficult with the work schedule that I have before me this winter. As we discussed our trapping possibilities we drove through the small community of Doss, MO, and the overpowering smell of skunk poured in to the truck. Apparently someone had got a little too close for Pepe’ Le Pew’s liking and he sprayed all over the highway. Now, not only were we wanting to trap but, to make matters worse, we were smellin’ the old familiar smells of trappin’ season too!

Christmas Eve morning I met Kenny and we headed for the trap line. Now for me the first night of having traps in the ground is generally not my most successful run. And apparently my luck rubbed off on Kenny because he only had one trap that had received any action and it was empty just the same! No fur. We did manage to set out 4 more great looking land sets and we told old stories about days gone by. At the end of the morning we wished each other Merry Christmas and headed home. Christmas Eve night I knew that I would be having visions of coyotes and bobcats dancing in my head while the kids were seeing those sugar-plumbs.

That evening as I considered my trapping adventure with Kenny and how it related to the Christmas season I couldn’t help but remember a funny Christmas past. Kenny and I had seen empty traps - kind of like empty Christmas gift boxes. Alex and I had smelled the overpowering scent of skunk – just like the skunk essence used in trapping scents. But, unfortunately we had no presents – there were no furbearers in any traps. Similarly, during Christmas time 14 years ago when my niece Haley Hill was 4 years old we were at my in-laws house for Christmas and Haley was crying. She had just come from her Grandpa and Grandma Hill’s house. Her uncle and my good friend, Mike Hill, had given her a Christmas present and she just couldn’t see the humor in it. When I asked what was wrong she replied while crying and rubbing her eyes, “My Uncle Mike got me a fart in a box for Christmas!” The box was there, the smell was there, but – no present! Now that’s funny! Yep, Christmas can be like trapping. So says the One-Eyed Hillbilly.

Greg Stephens is a 35-year veteran & life-time student of the great outdoors. His column appears weekly in print & online publications. You can email him at gregstephens@one-eyedhillbilly.com. For more columns go to www.one-eyedhillbilly.blogspot.com.