Guns & Groceries – They Go Hand-in-Hand

Who knew?  The outdoor marketing break-through of the 21st Century happened in Hardy, AR at the Price Chopper Grocery Store.

Biscuits & gravy, bacon & eggs, vacations & huntin’ season – there are just some things in life that go hand-in-hand. But did you realize that gun stores & grocery stores went together too?  Ya, me either until a few weeks back when I had the opportunity to spend a few days just south of Thayer, MO in a little town called Hardy, AR. I was scouring the countryside looking for turkeys and checking out the Spring River for possible fishing opportunities. Hardy proved to have both outdoor adventures in ample supply. But the real discovery of the trip was not the huntin’ and fishin’. Rather, it was an outdoor marketing stroke of brilliance that I found in the Price Chopper Grocery Store!



Hardy, Arkansas is a quaint little river & railroad town located just south of Mammoth Spring on the Spring River. Mammoth Spring is a gorgeous natural wonder that gushes out water at a rate of 344 cubic feet per second toward the Spring River. The river cuts a beautiful emerald green swath barely 200 yards from downtown Hardy. The trout, small mouth, and large mouth fishing is great. Old downtown Hardy screams early 20th Century river town with the train tracks running on a narrow strip between downtown and the river. And, over the years the town has mastered the art of marketing the appeal of the good ole’ days. But, again, the town’s marketing plan wasn’t the highlight.



When you walk through the front doors you run smack dab

into an entrance to a man-cave shrine...inside the grocery store of all places!



I needed a drink so I pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store and headed inside. When I entered the front door and turned left I stopped dead in my tracks. What I saw made me reconsider my opinions of grocery shopping. I had never been one to grocery shop much at all – you go to the store knowing exactly what you want, you buy it, and then you leave - no bargain shopping, no brousing, just get it and go. But just in front of me was a large sign above a door that opened into a 1000 sq. ft. room that read “Gun and Bow Rack”. Lo-and-behold there was a gun shop in the grocery store!

Let’s consider this a moment. Everyone knows it’s important to spend quality time with your spouse and she likes company when she grocery shops. Even more, how often have you heard, “Why do I have to do all the grocery shopping?” Problem solved! This grocery store has heard the call of wives everywhere, or mountain men, depending on your perspective,  and provided the answer. After work on Monday evening when milk is needed at the house I’m volunteerin’ to go to the store. On Saturday morning when there’s no syrup for the pancakes I’m going to the store…I sense some potential problems with how long it’s gonna take to get home with the syrup (it might be lunchtime). From my perspective this was a marketing stroke of brilliance!



Guns, food & drink - for what more could a one-eyed hillbilly ask?
Throw in naked protesters in the parking lot and we'd be
pitchin' tents!



As I left the store and walked into the parking lot I had a thought that brought a smile to my face. Not only has this grocery store struck marketing gold, but they have righteously taken a stand against gun control advocates and anti-hunting groups. I mean, think about it, they have stood on their principals and boldly dared animal rights folks to team up with the gun control folks and picket grocery stores in a combined effort to fight the 2nd Amendment and meat consumption all at the same time.  Imagine the naked PETA protestors packin’ their signs & protesting hand-in-hand with the Brady Bunch (a gun-control outfit)…not only would there be fruit & nut salad in the store but it would be in the parking lot too! And, if we hillbillies find out about the protest, the store will cash in ‘cause just think how hard it will be for wives to get their husbands to go home. There will be a crowd of guys that’ll stay there all day travelin’ back and forth between watching the naked PETA girls in the parking lot and grocery shoppin’ in the gun shop!



Ok, I'm speechless...Really?

Animal rights & gun control teamed up as a protesting powerhouse at the grocery store...hmmm..huh,...nope, on second thought, it won't work.  At first thought it sounds like a bullet-proof alliance made in fruitcake heaven, but now that I think about it I'm sure it wouldn’t work. Why?  Because I recalled a recently internet-publicized classified ad that had come out a few hunting seasons back in a newspaper (somewhere far from Dent County, Missouri I’m sure) that read, “To all you hunters who kill animals for food, shame on you; you ought to go to the store and buy meat that was made there, where no animals were harmed.”



…Really? According to the genius that submitted that classified ad, the grocery store produces meat without harming any critters in the process so I guess the animal rights folks must love grocery stores. This anti-intellectual irony kind of reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, “Never argue with a fool. He’ll only drag you down to his level and then beat you with experience.”

In any event, in a manner of speakin’ I guess that I can agree with the fella that wrote the classified ad on one thing– we both have a new found respect for grocery stores! Grocery stores and gun shops – in my world they go hand-in hand! So says the One-Eyed Hillbilly.



Greg Stephens is a 35-year veteran & life-time student of the great outdoors. His column appears weekly in print & online publications. You can email him at gregstephens@one-eyedhillbilly.com. For more columns go to www.one-eyedhillbilly.blogspot.com.